Is It So So Wrong To Love...

And be loved in return? I think not.

Best lyrics ever. Simon Curtis.

A Letter To My Grandma

My Grandma's birthday is on Wednesday, March 24th. She will be turning 73 years old and to be honest, that scares me to death. To think that my grandma, my sole confidant, my partner in crime, the person who I've come to know as my everything, is turning one year older. And as we grow older, the years we have left are dwindling. For those of you who don't know, my grandma basically raised me. My family has always lived close to her. I don't think there has been a day in my life (besides college) that i hadn't seen my grandmother. And I am grateful for that. I lived with her for 7 years and those were the best seven years of my life. We spent basically every waking hour together.

So this is my letter to my grandma for her 73rd birthday.

Dear Grandma,

Your birthday is here! 73 years old, I know you didn't need me to remind you, or maybe you forgot since you stopped counting. I just wanted to let you know how much I love you. We have always been close and I feel like I am the most privileged person in the world because of my closeness with you. No one in the world means as much as you do to me. You are my everything, grandma. I can tell you anything, we can have conversations about anything and everything. We are so much alike and I feel like I've learned so many of my best traits and skills from you. You are an amazing grandma and you do so much for me. I love you for that and I feel blessed for you to be my grandmother. I couldn't have asked for a better one. Okay, I'm crying so hard right now. I hope the remainder that we have together will be just as great as what we have had already. I know that I wouldn't want it any other way.

I love you always and forever,
Your grandson,
Nathan

Strive Not To Be A Success, But Rather To Be Of Value

A friend and I met for coffee this evening. I hadn’t seen this friend in over a month and a half. It was very nice reconnecting with her, talking about her life and all of what is going on in it. Alyssa is such a caring, sweet person and I’m so glad I came to know her here at Ball State. She landed a Resident Assistant position today for next year in Johnson Hall. I know that she will do so well in the position. She has the energy, the motivation, and the kind attitude it takes to be one. Rock on, Alyssa!

Let’s now get down to the nitty gritty of my blog post. I’m going to list a couple of the many goals I have in life as of now. These are goals within the next year that I will stick to. And heck, they may not even be goals, just guidelines to live by. Anyway, just something I’ve been thinking about.

One thing that keeps crossing my mind is relationships. It doesn’t cross my mind in the aspect that I want one, but just the sense that I am going to make sure not to waste time on one. Basically what I’m saying is that I’ve wasted so much of my life going after someone either not interested in me or someone who does not have the same values as I do. I am not letting myself waste another minute on someone who is not going to benefit me and support me in everything that I do. If I do meet someone, I will take it slow and make sure that we are in sync. We will become friends first and then begin dating if the Lord leads us in that direction.

Another aspect of my life that I’m trying to strengthen is my faith. I know everyone is working on their faith at this point in their lives. And it really never ends. It is a constant challenge. I had a year away from faith. I had no faith during this year of “rebellion” I like to call it. During that year, I got into a lot of bad things. Drinking and doing drugs as well as rebelling against my parents’ wishes were just a few of the many things I had done wrong. I realize now that I did those things because I had no relationship with God. God was telling me that those things were wrong to do, but I shut him out. I wouldn’t listen to him. My faith had disappeared. Well, within this next year, I am trying to focus my attention to my faith. God is the most important relationship you can have in life and strengthening my relationship with Him is taking priority.

More to come…

“Our Greatest Glory is Not in Never Failing, But in Rising Up Every Time we Fail.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it so well. This quote describes my life perfectly at the moment. Due to my medical issues that have arose over the past few months, I was forced to withdraw from college. My first semester of college and I couldn’t even succeed in finishing. As a person, I feel like a failure. I feel like I couldn’t handle multiple things at once. I feel like there are many more people out there that are experiencing difficult situations and I just didn’t have the guts or the strength to face what I was going through. My body failed me and as a result, I failed as a student. I failed as a person to take care of myself.

Although sometimes we fail, though, we always get back up and try again. And that’s exactly what I plan on doing. Along with my medical issues, this semester has had family problems, relationship problems, and other stresses along the way. But I know that when I go back in January, it will be a great opportunity to restart my life. Because although I may have failed this semester, doesn’t mean that I can’t rise above and succeed in the end.

Some Days There Won't Be A Song In Your Heart. Sing Anyway.

We all have bad days, right? Or at least I do. Those days when you wake up and you realize you slept through your alarm. Those days when you look outside and it’s raining. One of those days where it seems the whole day is ruined. But is it really? Can one hindrance in our lives really affect our entire outlook?

I certainly think not. Why would anyone let one little thing affect our day? If you sleep through your alarm, learn from your mistake. Set multiple alarms. And just relax. Don’t let it bug you. If it’s raining, grab and umbrella and be on your way. Life may not be perfect in any respect, but the outlook we have on life affects everything. Even on the worst of days, perception can change everything.

Just as we have bad days, others do too. So as you’re walking in the rain with your umbrella on that day that you slept through your alarm, give a big smile to the person walking by. You may be the only smile they see that day.

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.

When Was The Last Time You Walked Down The Street Completely Happy With The World?

I honestly can’t tell you. College has been the toughest part of my life. From homework to friends to family problems, it never ends. The crazy routines that I have put myself into have made life difficult and from here on out, it’s going to stop. Balance is key. Balancing friends, family, work, and school is very difficult, I’m sure you all will agree. And with what I’ve gotten myself into, it’s even worse. From getting my license suspended, to putting myself into debt, to not taking care of myself as a person, has made life even more grueling than it was before. All of these difficulties are not going to stop me though. I used to be a very happy and positive person and the past week, I have not been. I am behind in school. I even considered dropping out of school. Without my friends’ support, I would’ve already filed for withdrawal.

What I’m getting at in this post is that you should focus on yourself first. Take care of your body. Healthiness is key. Without good health, you can’t do anything else. You can’t socialize with friends, you can’t love anything. You need to love yourself. Put that on the top of your list. Next is family. Blood is thicker than water. No matter how much you think your friends are better than your family…friends can be gone tomorrow. Family is stable and will love you always whereas friends will love you one minute, talk bad about you the next. Next is prioritization. School should always come first. Homework cannot wait until the last minute to be completed. Most college students put off homework until the night before it is due, but let me tell you, everything adds up in a hurry. If you don’t feel like doing it now, what makes you think you’re going to want to do it later?

I am going to take my own advice and I hope you will as well. Maybe this will not make you completely happy with the world, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Why Do Tragedies Pull People Together?

Has anyone else noticed this? You hear about a friend or family member who is put in the hospital and you suddenly are intrigued as to what’s wrong. Regardless of how often you talk to or see this person, you are concerned all of the sudden. Is this right? Shouldn’t we be concerned about our friends and family each and every second of everyday?

I know about this topic firsthand after being in the hospital last week. Family members that I hadn’t seen in close to four months were suddenly direly in need of updates from me. And friends that I hadn’t talked to in who knows how long were sending me text messages and Facebook messages asking how I was doing and what had happened. There is nothing wrong with tragedies pulling people together again, but there wouldn’t be a need to pull together if you weren’t apart in the first place. Cherish every moment of everyday you have with someone. Otherwise someday you will regret your decision to distance yourself from others. As the saying goes, “Live, Laugh, Love, Every Minute of Everyday”.